The Food Bandit

Gower Cottage Brownies

 

I could see my life spinning away in front of my eyes. Everything I worked for was falling apart. The future was bleak. My wife would leave me, my business would fail in a matter of months, I would lose my house, and be shunned by all my friends. I could see it all now; the life I once had would drift away and leave me for dead. Soon I would be hauled up in an east london squat, half dressed, drifting from one hit to the next while the music from the strip bar below infected my brain. How could it get so bad? I had to stop this before it happened; I had to save myself and the life I had built. 

It had happened so quickly. I had been wandering around the Real Food Festival debating which free food I would feast upon when I came across a stall manned by two sweet innocent looking people; it's always the innocent ones you need to watch. Like Adam in the garden of eden they tempted me with a kindly looking basket containing small segments of midnight coloured brownie lightly dusted with a substance that made cocaine seem like playground sherbet. This hit of sweet and bitter chocolate consumed my soul, and I knew my life would never be the same again. Like a fiend we exchange cold hard cash for bag that would bring a tear to the eye of the most hardened Junkie.

 

Gower Cottage Brownies are the drug for this decade. They are the best tasting brownie I have ever eaten and clearly the work of truly devilish mind. The picture above shows the mastermind (left, Kate) who created these works of art. Each brownie has a slight crispness to the outside that delicately leads into the darkest moist centre that I could happily drown into. I don't believe that any food is better than sex, but these come pretty close, and were I celibate I would happily spend my days with these delights. 

Unlike any dealer I know Kate is happy to dispatch you my new drug of choice the very next day from her website. I can see this is going to be an expensive habit for me, and it will be a shame to lose all the things I love for this chocolaty narcotic, but I warn you once tried you will understand how worthwhile it is...

 

Ode to the Macaron

I have been hiding something for many years now. I can't tell my friends or my family. How will I deal with the strange looks and comments? It's gone on for too long now; I can't keep this secret inside any longer.

I know there are people who will judge me, and I know I won't be able to go back to my normal life after this. I have to be true to myself. It's time for me to finally admit it: I love the French....

I'm sorry England, but I do. There is nothing you could have done. It has been going on for some time now.  It's me not you, but really it's you.

I love everything about the French, I love the food, I love the movies, I love the language, I love the attitude, I love the style, but above all I love the macarons.

Now when I say macarons I dont mean those ridiculous coconut concoctions that look more like dumplings than desert. I mean the beautiful French confectionary photographed above. These mouthfuls of joy are made up of a meringue based crushed almond exterior, and, normally, a flavoured ganache spread sandwiched in the middle. You may say these don't look like a masculine food stuff for a man of your stature, and I would have to agree with you. They are not masculine in any way. Every bite of them makes me become slightly more effeminate. If metrosexual's go to war this will be what sustains them on the battlefield, and I may just be along side them when the revolution comes.

Thankfully we live in such a global economy that a food soldier, such as myself, can get their fix of macarons far more easily then ever before. It was only earlier in 2010 that, in my opinion, the king of macarons appeared on these shores. Pierre Herme opened his small boutique in Selfridges, London in February of 2010 although they deliver through his website across europe. What he produces are simply genius. Each macaron tastes as if it was made with love, and each of the delicate flavours comes across perfectly. With flavours such as rose, milk chocolate & passion fruit, mint, salted-butter caramel, and Chocolate, blackcurrant and blackcurrant berries there is something for everyone. 

Each macaron is so delicate that every texture and flavour becomes heightened. For something so light they are also deeply rich, and even a man of my greed could only eat a few at a time.  My personal favourite is the vanilla with caramel bits, but it is a little like choosing which is your favourite child. Pierre Herme is clearly a culinary artist and I admire a man who can create such powerful flavours in such a delicate way. His macarons are like a punch wrapped in a velvet glove, and I look forward to being beaten like this many more times.

The box photographed lasted 3 days (they have a 4 day fridge life), but this was mainly due to my wife limiting my intake. They don't come cheap at £35.00 for a box that size although they can be bought individually for just under £2.00. They are, to me, the perfect treat; expensive enough that you wouldn't buy them every day, but delicious enough that you want them every day.