Forgive me for the sombre tone of this post, but I thought it only right to take some time off from trying to be witty, and address what is really important in the world.
This post is for all of our Japanese cousins who are suffering at the hands of Mother Nature.
Although I have never been to Japan I have had an affinity with it all my life. I'm fascinated by a country that can live so far in the future, but keep true to its traditions. I love a country where clinically obese men can become sporting champions, and where polite business men can buy used knickers from vending machines without a hint of shame.
Japan to me is a dream. Today Japan is a nightmare for thousands of people who have lost their homes and families to the power of the universe. It felt wrong for me to write about the insignificance of my eating habits when so many people are in despair, but then I started to think more deeply into it.
Our lives are pointless.
The majority of people stumble through each day counting the hours until their two days of freedom. We worry about politics, and who dislikes us. We sit wondering if we will find the love of our lives, if we are too fat, if we will ever be rich, or if we should follow our dreams to be a dancer (obviously I mean someone else I just wear the tutu because I like the fit...). Thankfully I have the answer for you: it doesn't fucking matter. I bet you're glad I shared that with you now.
It doesn't matter what you do it will make no difference to the universe at all. Our lives are short, and forgettable. As Professor Brian Cox will tell you our universe will be destroyed eventually, and our lives are not even a grain of sand in the desert of time.
I'm no philosopher, but I'm pretty sure that working 65% of your adult life is a hell of a waste of time. I understand that you are going to be a millionaire, and quit work at 35. Good luck to you. I hope it makes you happy, but I'm willing to bet that if you look at your life the things that make you happy don't cost anywhere near as much as you think. For example if I want to eat in a great restaurant twice a week , go out with friends drinking once a week, have 3-4 holidays a year and pay all my bills I would need £50,000 a year in my hands. Still a long way off being a millionaire. Don't get me wrong I would never turn down that sort of money, but it wont make me 20 times happier.
Stop worrying about where you want to be, and enjoy what you have. Go out every night if you want, get fat, sleep around, quit your job, travel the world, take photos of trains, or get on stage and dance like a dream! Do all the things you want because your life is not important. It can be over in the blink of an eye or the smash of a wave. At the time of writing up to 1500 are believed to be dead in the Japanese earthquake. I can't even picture how many bodies that is. Do you think they died worrying about their pension plan, or if their marketing campaign would work?
So go out, and live your lives. Don't give a fuck about the consequences. Do what makes you happy. Have the big slice of cake, have the last roast potato, add extra salt, and stop worrying.
Live your life to be happy; because you owe it to the people who never got the chance to live theirs...
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