As the dust settles on another year; everybody is either looking forward to the challenges ahead or looking back to the mistakes that they made in 2010. The worrying fact is that the festive season fools us into believing that it will all be changed now that one number on the calendar has been replaced for the next 365 days. Every year I hear people claiming to make resolutions that will change their life, unfortunately most of these dreams are squashed by the end of the second week in January or the first day if you are in my group of friends.
This year, it is time to give yourself a break, do what you want to do, be honest with yourself and don't have unrealistic goals. Sure, you can have ambitions and dreams but make sure that you enjoy life. I say forget losing weight if you love food! If anything, put on more weight! Be proud of that ample frame, enjoy every mouthful of food you shovel in. You dont need to be skinny, you can buy new clothes, you don't really need a partner you have food now and anyway what harm can become of being morbidly obese?
Okay so maybe that wasn't a good example, maybe we do need to have dreams and challenges. Come to think about it there is a lot of things about the world of food I would like to change in 2011. So without further a do, here are my food dreams for 2011:
The End of Concept Restaurants: I will be writing a article on this piece soon but for now I will only slightly rant about it. The only concept that a restaurant should focus on is good tasting food! I don't care about eating in a hospital with my food brought to me in syringes or having to have my dinner served to me in a bed while watching a transvestite cut his chest with razor blades (oh super club, why would you do such things). I want good tasting food and everything else can come after.
The End of Food Snobbery: I talk about this in my first post and it still annoys me. Surely in this season of good will; we can forgive people for not knowing everything about food. I strongly believe that people are doing the best that they can with the information that they have although I am happy to contradict my self by saying that Iceland should be removed from every high street in the UK, mostly so I don't have to see their chavy adverts on TV. The point is though, you should never be too above yourself to enjoy all the food delights there are in the world and if you want pizza or burgers then have them happily knowing that you can eat your oysters and caviar on another day.
The Death of the Cupcake: This is a prediction I have made every single year for the past three years so I am sure that they will do really well in 2011. It's not that I have anything against the cupcake as such but it is what they do to women of all ages that makes me dislike them. I have worked in central London offices where a normal group of fantastic women have turned in to cupcake lusting vampires when names such as Humming Bird and Candy Cakes are mentioned. I have seen 6 foot rugby playing men thrown across filing cabinets for making the mistake of standing in the way of these icing coated baked drugs. For me 2011 needs to be the year of the macaroon and I recommend that anyone near Selfridges in London ventures in to try Pierre Herme's unbelievable delights.
Good Service at all restaurants: I know you may be laughing out loud right now but this can't be too much to ask can it? The restaurant business is a service industry and should start acting like one. Now I know that many restaurants have great service but they tend to be the exception and not the rule. I personally don't think that it is to much to ask to be treated like a human when you are giving away your hard earned cash. Strangely it seems to be the small local places that have the problem. You guys are fighting for your existence every single day so don't let your poor training skills or some spotty seventeen year old kill your business!
More Understanding of Seasonal Food: I don't need people to recite what is and isn't in season at any given time but people need to understand that to have great quality and fantastic tasting food seasonality needs to play a major role. You can't enjoy tomatoes in the middle of winter that haven't been shipped half way across the planet! A trick for all those trying to save money is eat seasonally! When you next go into the supermarket; notice that all the fruit and veg that is on half price or two for one tends to be what's in season because there is an abundance of it that doesn't need to be air freighted in. Hopefully eating seasonally would also increase local trade and allow our food specialists to survive. Anyway it is about time for my tomato salad...
Personal Responsibility when Eating: I recently read an article about a mother that was going to sue McDonald's for giving toys away with Happy Meals as it made her kid want them. Now I wont delve deep into this because I want to write a longer piece on it but come on! You are responsible for what goes into your mouth! Stop blaming the rest of the world for your own fucking stupidity! Junk food makes you fat otherwise they would call it healthy food. If you are getting ill because of the food you are eating then stop eating it, make a change! It is not the government's fault you are fat, it is not Ronald McDonald's fault you are fat, it is your fault and if you don't like it then stop eating it or die but either way I don't care.
So go now my children, enjoy 2011 and take my joyful words into the next 365 days with you.
Be careful what you wish for because it may happen...
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